


The Lonely Hour

by Skyline87



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rickyl, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-17 21:09:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyline87/pseuds/Skyline87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl and Rick against all odds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've Got A Watchtower And A Bad Idea

_We’ve gotta stop meeting like this,_ Rick whispered kissing Daryl roughly. He pushed the archer into the wall of the watchtower. _You smell good,_ he muttered breathing into his hair. 

_Jus’ showered before shift,_ Daryl replied leaning his head back. The exposure of his neck was too much for the former sheriff. Bringing his lips close, he grabbed Daryl’s arms and raised them above his head. 

_Knew I was comin’?_ The sheriff pressed his body against the archer’s, removing all if any space between the two. Lowering one of his hands he reached down to stroke the bulge in the younger man’s jeans. 

_Jus’ wanted to smell nice for you,_ Daryl breathed into Rick’s ear. His breath hitched with lust. It felt good. More than that. Rick’s beard was rough against Daryl’s skin. 

_You ain’t gotta do anything,_ Rick undid Daryl’s belt and pulled it off in one smooth motion. _To make me want you more._ Undoing the buttons on Daryl’s jeans, he reached his hand in and grabbed ahold. _Tell me you want me._ He kissed Daryl again, this time softer and with more meaning behind it. He needed to know that the younger man wanted this…wanted him. 

_Wan’ you._ Daryl thought it was obvious. It was all he’d wanted for a long time now. He ran his hands through Rick’s curls. He realized the older man was nervous. He didn’t like that. Rick was older than Daryl. Hell he was probably wiser too. Daryl brought his lips to Rick’s with an unexpected softness. _Need you. Gon’ show you._ Daryl dropped to his knees and took the reigns. Moving the older man away from the window, he pulled down his jeans and pressed him roughly into the wall. _Dare ya’ to ask me again if I want you._ He took the man into his mouth and breathed deeply. The not so soft moan that escaped Rick’s lips encouraged him to continue. He licked his way down the older man’s shaft, and grabbed his thighs. Lost in the haze he didn’t hear Rick.

 _Daryl,_ Rick breathed deeply. _Someone’s coming._ Daryl too caught up in his work, didn’t hear him. Rick didn’t think he could make him stop. He heard footsteps coming up the stairs. _Shit. Daryl, someone’s coming,_ he whispered. 

_Already? Damn…didn’t know I was that goo…_

_No, fuck not me…I mean…_ Rick pushed him off gently and quickly pulled up his pants. Daryl heard the footsteps and realized what Rick had been trying to say. He hastily buttoned his jeans and both men turned away from the door and headed back to Daryl’s post by the window. 

It was Glenn. 

_Hey guys,_ Glenn greeted them normally. It really wasn’t uncommon for Rick and Daryl to be anywhere together. Everyone knew they considered each other best friends. 

_Damn, that time already?_ Daryl stretched his arms and yawned. _Well best be gettin’ to bed,_ he smirked. Rick gave him a stern glance telling him to be careful. 

The men chatted for a few minutes before Rick and Daryl took their leave and headed back to the cellblock. 

_Want to take this back to my bunk, officer?_ Rick pulled him into the shadows and brought their lips together. He kissed the younger man slow and deep, as if they had all the time in the world. 

_Want? Yes._ Rick said wrapping his arms loosely around Daryl’s waist. _But- I still need to check in on Judith and wouldn’t want Carl to wake up and worry._

Daryl nodded and the men separated. Rick looked back as they separated. He wanted to follow him, but didn’t. He had his own responsibilities to the other members of his family. He slouched against the wall of the prison and slid to the ground. Whatever this thing was with Daryl was complicated. Good, but complicated. There wasn’t many good things left in the world. He was fortunate enough to have his children. That alone made him luckier than most. They had this prison. They were surviving. Maybe someday they’d be able to start living again. Somehow, that seemed in a much more distant future.

 _Dad?_ Rick looked up to see his boy walking over to him. 

_Carl? What are you doing out here so late?_

_Woke up and you weren’t around…again._ The again was barely a whisper, but it pierced Rick like a dagger. 

_I’m sorry, I was just up in the watch tower checkin’ in on things._

_It was Daryl’s shift. He coulda handled it on his own._

_You’re right, I just wanted to talk to him about some things is all._ Rick offered the best explanation he could. Carl stood in front of his father. 

_I’m not stupid._ He stared down at his shoes. _I just really miss mom._ Rick motioned for his son to sit down. 

_I miss her too._

_You don’t act like it anymore. You’re always laughing and hanging with Daryl. Don’t I even matter to you?_ Rick forgot how innocent his son was in so many ways. Pointing out the obvious, but not realizing it’s implication.

 _I miss her, and you and Judith are what matter most to me. I’m just trying to move forward. She would want that. Especially for you._ Carl wasn’t satisfied. 

_You’re going to move on. You’re going to forget her! Just like everyone else who dies!_

_Listen to me when I say I’ll never forget her. I loved her,_ Rick sighed deeply, running his hands through his hair. He knew what was coming next. 

_Just promise me, you won’t replace her. With anyone._ Carl was hurting. More than he had thought. As his father, he shouldn’t have missed such pain. 

_I would never replace her._ Rick drew his son in for a warm embrace. _She wants you to be happy though. You’ve got to try. Alright?_ Carl nodded. _Go on to bed, I’ll be in soon._ Carl stood to leave and said goodnight to his father. 

Rick realized that he wasn’t being careful with his family. He was going to have to cool things down with Daryl, and give Carl some room to breathe. To heal. What a mess.

***

 

Another morning had snuck it’s way into the prison walls and through the windows. Last night’s conversation with his son had brought him back into the cold reality that was their life. He’d been neglecting his responsibilities, caught up in whatever it was he and Daryl had been doing. They had even neglected watch last night. If walkers had…he didn’t even want to fathom the thought of what could have happened because of their stupidity.

They needed supplies. They always needed more. So many mouths to feed, they couldn’t risk not having enough. Especially with winter coming. All Rick wanted was to be able to hunker down and ride out the winter. They had survived on the outside of these prison walls during one winter not all too long ago, but it had beleaguered them. The meanness of the season wore them down, body and soul. There was a plan now. Rick gathered his gun, and some extra ammo while scanning the room for Daryl. He thought of taking Michonne instead, but figured that a run was as good a time as any to hash things out with Daryl. He didn’t know what to say, he just hoped he wouldn’t cause any pain. For anyone. 

He eyed Daryl in the corner of the room. _Suit up, were goin’ on a run._ Rick slung the rifle over his shoulder and put the extra ammo in his russack and turned to leave without waiting for a response. He stopped to kiss Judith and say goodbye to Carl. _You look after your sister, ya hear?_ Carl nodded. He hugged his son again. _You’re gonna work on what we talked about, okay? Find something to do that helps you to move forward. It’s what your mom would have wanted._ Carl nodded. Rick realized how much he needed his son to heal. For both of their well beings. 

Daryl was already saddled up and waiting next to his bike, by the time Rick made it outside to the SUV. Rick leaned against the door of the vehicle. _You wanna ride with me?_ Rick asked, unsure of the tone in his voice. 

_Just safer this way,_ Daryl replied looking at the older man. _Better to have an extra set of wheels if things get rough._

It was true, Daryl was always a step ahead of the others. It was what kept him alive. It’s what kept a lot of people alive. 

_Alright then, let’s get gone,_ The younger man said revving his engine. _What’ya waiting for? The apocalypse?_ Both men chuckled softly as Rick got into the car. Carol let them out of the prison, wishing them luck as they sped away, making the most of precious daylight hours. 

They drove 4 hours west, before stopping. They had found a big box store, that was full of supplies. It took them a while to clear the walkers and gather supplies. By the time they were saddled up to the brim, darkness was upon them.

 _Thinkin’ we should camp out tonight, head back in the morning,_ Rick said scanning the area. 

_Fuck yeah, boy’s night out, bitch!_ Daryl whooped raising his crossbow in the air. 

The two men found a nearby auto parts store, small enough to secure for the night. Rick grabbed a couple of sleeping bags from the car and Darryl grabbed some food. 

_Not a bad day, brother. Not a bad day,_ Rick said, laying down his makeshift bed. 

_I even scored some goddamn whiskey,_ Daryl said with a smirk on his face and lust in his eyes. Rick watched as Daryl took a swig and offered the bottle to Rick. He took the bottle happily, letting his lips linger on the rim, tasting the mixture of Daryl and the bitter alcohol. It was a drink that he definitely needed. Wiping his mouth, he hastily passed the bottle back to Daryl and sat down on the sleeping bag. 

_Daryl, I…I need to talk to you ‘bout something,_ Rick rubbed a hand through his hair. How was he going to approach this? This was a rare evening, that they had away from the prison. Together. He was about to fuck it up royally.

 _What’s up?_ Daryl asked, biting into a cracker, and offering the rest to Rick. The gesture was not lost on the older man. 

Rick shook his head. _Eat. You need your strength._ That had come out wrong. 

Daryl’s eyes brightened. _Gon’ need my strength huh?_ He smiled and bit into another cracker. 

_You know I consider you kin, right?_ Daryl nodded, taking a breath. Rick looked into his eyes. He couldn't do it. Not tonight. He’d do it tomorrow. They deserved one last evening. As selfish as it was, Rick wanted the release that he didn’t get last night. He wanted to give that to Daryl as well. He decided to talk to him about something else that had been on his mind lately.

Rick leaned in close grabbing Daryl’s neck and pulling him to his face. Daryl could feel the heat intensity radiating off of Rick. _I just gotta know that you’re gonna protect what’s mine-if I’m not around. I gotta know, Daryl._

_You know I’ll die for them,_ he replied without missing a beat.

 _Daryl, I trust you,_ he released his grip slightly on the man’s neck. _I want you to be Judith’s god father. Can you do that? Will you do that for me?_ Rick gazed into the younger man’s eyes. They stared at each other for a minute, having an unspoken conversation. Daryl’s eyes were filled with doubt. He looked to Rick for reassurance. _Ain’t no one else for this job and you goddamn better believe me when I say that._

_Can’t say no to you,_ Daryl answered. He’d do it. Of course he would do it. It was his job. 

_No, you definitely can’t say no. You gotta protect our girl,_ Rick grinned. It was easy with Daryl, once he learned how to handle him. He climbed over and straddled Daryl’s hips. He grabbed his face in both of his hands and pressed their lips together. He wasn’t sure he could let this go. This was something so good. Better than anything he’d had before. They just understood each other. He ground his hips into Daryl’s lap. Feeling the hardness beneath him, he knew it would be near impossible to quit this. But these were thoughts for the morning. Not for the night. Rick took another long draw of the amber liquid and realized that he was feeling it’s effect. _I wan’ you so bad,_ he slurred slightly into Daryl’s mouth. Daryl wrapped his arms around the sheriff and pulled him closer.

_Gotta take what you want,_ making sure Rick knew how badly he needed this too. Daryl took another swig from the bottle, letting that warm feeling flow through him. He offered the bottle back to Rick. 

_Tryin’ to get me drunk?_ Rick asked, pulling Daryl’s shirt off. 

_Hell yes, I am,_ Daryl answered blatantly. _Could barely sleep last night, wanted you so bad._ A soft moan escaped Rick’s lips as Daryl fed him a sip of the whiskey. He chased the sip with a sloppy kiss. Rick’s shirt came off next. The younger man nipped at his chest, breathing deeply. There was only a few drops left of the liquor that had been feeding their lust, and Daryl offered it to Rick who happily drank it down. 

_S’all gone now,_ Rick stated dumbly, and threw the bottle onto the floor. He liked being in Daryl’s lap, feeling all of the archer’s energy and power beneath him. _Need you so goddamn bad, baby,_ Rick slurred wantonly. 

_Baby?_ Daryl smiled realizing just how drunk his sheriff was. Rick smiled too. It all felt so damn good. He kissed him again. His lips brought a sense of salvation for Daryl. The two men breathing the same air, Daryl had finally found something that he’d been searching for. Rick tilted his head to the right, and tasted the younger man’s lips with his tongue. They were chapped from too much sun, and tasted of bitter alcohol. 

_Gon’ fuck you now…baby,_ Rick slid off of Daryl’s lap and turned him around. _Wan’ be inside of you so bad,_ He slurred and pulled down Daryl’s jeans. Taking a minute to work his own, he fumbled. Daryl reached around and helped him out of them. 

_What if I fuck you first? Ever think ‘bout that?_ Daryl managed to get Rick’s jeans off. He pinned Rick underneath him, planting kisses all over his body from groin to neck. Rick just nodded. He just needed more. Daryl slicked some spit and eased himself gently into Rick. 

_Fuck!_ Rick gritted through his teeth. Daryl responded by kissing him deeply. The touch of warm tongues and rough lips masked the burn. Daryl eased himself in and out gently until he could feel the sheriff loosen and start to respond. _Fuck…yes._ The moans started out soft, and became louder with each thrust. Daryl put his hand lightly over Rick’s mouth.

 _Gon’ make them walkers jealous, if you’re not quieter._ Daryl wasn't making it easy for Rick to follow that command. Each thrust filled him entirely. Daryl’s hot breath on the back of Rick’s head made him groan deeper. Tremors started to quake in his groin. Rocking in cadence with Daryl’s hips, he could tell by his quickening pace that the young archer was closing in on the same thing. Rick dropped his head. He realized it wasn’t just that this felt good. It was who it was with that made him complete. His thoughts zoomed in different directions. What would happen tomorrow what he more or less ended things with Daryl? It made him sick to think he had to deny himself or Daryl something they so obviously needed. _Now you’re being too quiet,_ Daryl said thrusting into Rick roughly. His attempt to steer Rick back to him worked. 

Daryl sensed the shift in Rick. He was so in tune with all of the older man, that he knew whatever had been weighing on his mind throughout the day had come back to torture both of them. Daryl leaned down and kissed Rick’s back. He reached his hand around and grabbed Rick in his hand. _Come back to me,_ he insisted stroking the officer while thrusting inside him. Rick groaned and his groin tightened. A slur of curse words escaped his mouth and Daryl worked him all over. Hands everywhere. Rick screaming, Daryl grabbing onto his slick curls for extra stability has he jackhammered in and out of his officer.  
_Daryl…god…Dar…_ Daryl grabbed onto Rick’s shoulder and tightened his grip. He was closing in, feeling both of their hearts race, and bodies thrum. 

_Shit. I’m comin’…_ Daryl moaned loudly as he came. Feeling Daryl come inside him put Rick over the edge of the cliff he had been on. 

_Fuuuc…_ Rick drawled as he came all over Daryl’s sleeping bag. 

Rick smiled sheepishly to himself. _Guess we’re sharin’ a bed tonight._ Daryl just grinned as he pulled on his jeans and shirt. 

Rick unzipped the remaining sleeping bag and slipped in. He held the top cover up as an invitation for Daryl to join him. _Awful cozy,_ Daryl commented slid in next to Rick. 

_I know you’re lovin’ this,_ Rick stated, draping an arm around Daryl’s waist. _Night,_ he yawned, pulling Daryl as close to him as possible. 

_Night,_ Daryl whispered, drifting off into a good rest. 

Rick was exhausted and spent, but his mind was not. Sure as everyday before this one another morning would come again, and he’d have to be ready. To protect his children and end the good thing he had going with Daryl. The good thing that wasn’t good for a long time until it suddenly was. But it was still tonight. Rick told himself, he’d figure it out in the morning. Tightening his hold of Daryl, he closed his eyes, with hopes of getting some sleep.


	2. Sleeping Bags and Bad Ideas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write this chapter from Rick's perspective to make it a little more personal. We'll see how that goes :)

I woke up tangled in Daryl’s limbs. Legs intertwined and arms over hips. He was already awake, looking at me like I was a goddamn prize. His eyes were soft in the morning light. Before the day could stake it’s claim and turn his soft lines back into hard ones. He reached up and stroked my face. I pressed into his touch, dazed and still a little drunk. He touched my lips to silence me as I opened them to speak. No words. Not yet. 

The thing about Daryl is that he’s everything. He’s a strong presence while being invisible. He’s a protector and an antagonizer. He’s anything you need him to be. He knows what he needs to be. And I’m just a man. A man who never had it as rough as he did. Always had warmth and a bed. It wasn’t all peaches and cream, but it was sugar compared to his bitter. 

Tempted by his touch, I reached over and pressed my palm against his cheek. We would never have stood a chance back in the old world. But god damn if we weren't made for each other in this one. His touch moved down my back pulling me closer into his body. His way of letting me know how we fit together with ease. Our bodies were so close, I didn’t have to move to meet his lips with mine. Slow and soft. I was intoxicated once again, and it wasn’t from last night’s whiskey. 

When you always want more, it’s hard to ever get enough. It’s hard to be satisfied. But the want of more is a drive that keeps you going. Keeps you alive. So when his lips finally parted, my tongue delved right in. Taking more. 

_You taste bitter,_ Daryl finally whispered breaking the silence. He was smiling slightly. Watching him grin, it hit me. I realized I would do anything in the world for that smile. It was my undoing. I opened my mouth to reply, and he silenced me with another kiss. Pushing his lips into me, letting me know he was in charge. He had the power. 

And damn if that wasn’t all fucking right with me.

My heart thrummed wildly under the cotton covers of the sleeping blanket. He undid my jeans, and had them off without ever breaking contact with my lips. Hitching my right leg over his hip, I ground myself into his jeans. He pulled back and just stared at me with half lidded eyes full of lust. 

The thing about me, is that I’m everything to him. I know that now. I’d known it for a while. The way he always had an eye on me. Protecting me and what was mine. Doing for me, what needed to be done. Things he didn’t have to stake claim too, he guarded with his whole self.

I undid his jeans. I pulled them down, and unzipped our makeshift bed. His eyes widened, noticing that I was taking the control. I could tell he was struggling with letting it go. Control, once had is a hard thing to let go of. I matched his stare, silently telling him that if I was going to be his everything, then I was going to take care of what was now mine. I straddled his mouth and silently told him to suck. He greedily took me in. He lifted his head to take more of me, but I shook my head and pulled out. 

I grabbed his knees and parted his legs. He stopped breathing when I entered him. Eyes closed, he gritted his teeth. I took ahold of his erection and slid my hand over his entire length, to lessen the pain. He swatted it away. _Like it rough._

I thrust into him taking his lead. 

The feeling of being inside him…was overwhelming. 

It was syrup and pepper. Snow and sand. It was…blurred and it was clarity. All I really knew was that I needed to be deeper inside of Daryl to feel whole again. Thrusting my hips in and out, Daryl moaned deeply underneath me. Loved that sound. Favorite sound in the world. Our breaths were in sync. Daryl’s hands roamed wildly through my curls, clutching tightly. His breathing came faster now, so I rocked my hips faster. Feeling that familiar sensation building in my groin, I gripped Daryl’s hips and thrust in deeply once more, sending us both careening over the edge. _shit…holy hell…_ Daryl groaned loudly coming all over his own belly. 

I collapsed onto the young archer and into his arms. Skin on skin contact was what we needed. Nothing more, nothing less. Just still needed to be close to him as I came down from my high. Daryl lazily ran his fingers through my curls. It was peaceful. Normal even. These precious moments of bonding were far and few in between. Seconds turned into minutes, and minutes turned into hours. 

_Thanks for the quickie, but we should get to goin’,_ Daryl grumbled with a smile on his lips. He slowly untangled himself from my hold, but I was resistant to let him go. Being wrapped in his arms was just as blissful as it gets in the world today. We both groaned and begrudgingly separated and got dressed. 

_God, I could go for a coffee,”_ I said, speaking for the first time all morning. _You?_ Daryl shook his head. 

_Nah, but now a smoke…that would do me just fine._ I chuckled, knowing we wouldn’t be getting either for a while. 

We headed back to the prison, and the drive dragged on. Then a million thoughts swam through my head, and before I knew it, we were almost there. Daryl slowed ahead of me, and I followed his lead. He dismounted his bike and walked over to the car. 

_Thinkin’ maybe we should check those snares?_ Now was as good a time as any. I headed out of the vehicle and lead Daryl to the snares on the east side of the prison. No one must have checked them in time, because they had all been devoured by walkers. Only a few bloody bits remain entrapped. I stood there dumbly, just looking at the snares. 

_Really should be gettin’ back. Don’t want Carl to worry,_ Daryl commented, patting my shoulder softly.

And then it wasn’t perfect anymore. My face immediately dropped. I tried to cover my emotion, but Daryl noticed it immediately. I tried to walk back to the car. I was determined to fix all of this mess on my own. He didn’t ever even need to know. I would just fix Carl, I would make him understand. And as these thoughts and idea flooded my brain, I realized that I was an idiot. For thinking I could push my son into something he wasn’t ready for. 

I leaned against the car, crossing my arms. Daryl stood right in my space eyeing me over. Looking me up and down, trying to figure out what had just happened with us. He grunted, letting me know I best start talking. 

_I don’t know how to have this talk with you._ Hell if I’m not confusing him more. But how do you break up with someone you aren’t even dating? My heart clenched tightly in my chest, and the thought of not being with him. How do you tell the one person who you want so much that It can’t happen? I stared down at the ground, trying not to lose myself in this misery. 

_I’ve gotta take a break_ I said softly, looking at the earth beneath me. 

_From what?_ He asked but I sensed he already knew the answer

_Hopefully just a while. Just need to cool things off a bit. Just gotta let Carl heal up some wounds first, you know?_ I didn’t even know if I was making sense. I didn’t want to make sense. I didn’t want any of this. I just want him, and now he’ll never know. 

I looked up at him, and It was painted across his face. Understanding and rage. And I don’t blame him. I guess we really don’t need many words to communicate. That special thing between us. That realization was like taking a baseball bat to the stomach. Just another reason that we should be something. 

_And when did you come to this?_ Daryl spat, pacing around his bite. He was asking me how long I had dared to keep this from him. Out in the sun, his hard lines shone. I searched his face, but all I could see was disappointment and anger. 

_It was just the other night. Carl asked me…he’s just not…I just need to give him some time._ My voice was constricted like my heart. Didn’t he see? Didn’t he see that I didn't want this!?

_And’a…just when were you gonna tell me?_ Daryl asked, through gritted teeth. I shook my head. _Huh? I asked you a question! When were you gonna tell me? After you fucked me a couple more times? Got your thrills in?_

His words pierced me like an arrow from his bow. There wasn’t anything I could do. Everything I said just sounded like something I didn’t mean. I looked over at him. Silently begging for something, I didn’t know. 

_You know it’s not like that,_ He had to know. I stood up and walked over to him. _I don’t want to lose you. But we can still find a way to have moments together. We can go hunting or on runs…_ I don’t know why I said that. That came out wrong. Holy shit.

 

Daryl shook his head furiously and backed away from me, like he didn’t know who I was. The two steps he took felt like miles. I tried to close the distance between us, and then it was his fist colliding my face. My ass on the dirt. Him looking down at me. His eyes heavy with pain. Instinctively I rubbed my jaw, knowing that it would bruise badly.

_Fuck you,_ He whispered crouching down across from me. Then he stood to go back to his bike, but paused. _Big difference between us._ He shook his head again, trying to wrap his thoughts around everything. _I would’a come to you._ He kicked at the ground, and stared me in the eyes. _What we had was our own business and it don’t belong to no one else._ He grabbed my collar and pulled me up and pushed me against the car. _But at the end of the day, I ain’t nobody’s secret,_ He hissed, releasing me and stomping back to his bike. 

And that’s the thing about Daryl. He’s everything. And the thing about me? Well I’m just the sorry piece of shit that broke his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! xo


	3. Going, Going, Gone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl's made a decision that affects everyone, especially Rick.

It had been a month since Rick and Daryl’s meeting outside the prison walls. One month of regrets and revelations. For instance, Rick quickly learned that an angered Daryl was bad news for not only him, but anyone who crossed his path. The two men walked around the prison with a rain cloud over their heads. 

Daryl left on a hunt the moment they had returned from that fateful run. He didn’t even set his bags down. Just made sure that Rick was safe, and headed back out, not leaving the older man any chance to convince him to stay. At first Rick thought it was good for the man to have some time to himself. To cool down. But it wasn’t Another thing Rick quickly realized was that when Daryl spent so much time alone, he retreated into himself and built impassable 10 foot walls of steel around him. 

Rick had tried to talk to him each time Daryl would return to the prison camp. Out in the fields, he’d be one of the first to notice his return. Rick who had been holding his breath every time Daryl left, could finally exhale. He always took that opportunity to try and talk to Daryl, but the younger man would always snap at him like a wolf left in the wild too long. _Go back to your crops old man,_ he’d mutter, always walking away. 

Daryl’s anger was obvious. It radiated off his body like a high beamed flashlight. But that was ok with Rick. 

Long ago, when Lori and he had first started having marital problems, they sought the advice of a therapist. He told her that Lori was always upset with him. The things he did just didn’t please her. The therapist had looked Rick in the eye and stated, it’s when she's no longer angry, that you should be concerned. The therapist had explained that her anger was a way of letting him know that she still cared enough to be with him. When she stopped being angry and started being quiet…well that was when he should really worry. 

Daryl’s anger gave Rick hope. Hope that he could still fix things between them. That Daryl would one day let Rick give him the proper apology he deserved. Rick had faith enough for the both of them. 

Carl, on the other hand had become a world class nightmare. The days following his return with Daryl he barely spoke two words to him. He wouldn’t listen to his father and wouldn’t help him with the crops. The only thing he managed to do was comment continually on the fact that day runs always turned into overnights when he was with Daryl. Rick couldn’t blame his son. He had made a mess out of everything, and it seemed the only thing he could do these days was tend to the crops and let the people in his life cool down. 

**

The sun always rose slowly in the distance. So slow, that for a moment the world was once again beautifully normal. It was, however, always in the distance. Never within reach.

Rick sat on the dewy grass down in the prison garden watching the sun rise, as he did most mornings now, and tried embrace a second of normalcy. He let his mind wander back to the days of Carl riding his bike through the neighborhood. Lori cooking dinner. Shane coming over for a barbecue. Despite how painful those memories were, Rick was sure he’s rather die than lose them. 

He’d have to start tending to the chores of their small farm soon. He put in a pair of earbuds connected to an old iPod that Daryl managed to find on a run back before they had stopped speaking to each other. It still had a good amount of charge, and Rick was careful to use the small device sparingly. The last time Daryl had found one of these contraptions, he’d given it Carl who had no sense of rationing and used all the charge within a day. He looked at the machine and was grateful to the man who had given him the gift. Thoughts of Daryl washed over him like a tidal wave, pulling him under and thrusting him back out. Rick shook his head. _Don’t go there._ He ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply, his heart heavy with the weight of regret. 

Looking out over the field, he noticed a few walkers in the distance, beyond the fence. It never stops, he thought. For every walker he laid down three more arose. _If only I coul…_

His thoughts were cut short by a hand placed lightly on his shoulder. _Brought you some grub,_ Daryl said, interrupting Rick’s thoughts. 

_Huh?_ Rick took out the earbuds, and looked up at the younger man who was holding a bowl of warm oats. Rick blinked, wondering if the sight before him was in fact real. He took the food from him silently. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest. Daryl had been ignoring him for so long, it had caught him off guard.

_I called out, but you must’ve been listenen’ to your music,_ Daryl mentioned. _Or caught up in some serious thinkin’._

_I have been thinkin’. I have been thinkin’ about so much that I need to tell you. To make this righ…_

_I’m leavin’ tomorrow,_ Daryl said, interrupting Rick’s feeble attempt at an apology. Rick sighed deeply, because it was harder now. Harder to watch him go with things the way they were between them. He would always watch Daryl leave and take a deep breath. He’d finally let himself exhale days later when the young archer would return.

_Hunting again? How long?_ The older man asked, staring at the bowl of oats. the oats he thought perhaps, were progress. They were having and honest to goodness conversation. And hell if that wasn’t good ol’ progress in Rick’s book. It may take a while, Rick thought, but things could be mended between them. 

_I’m just leavin’,_ Daryl answered quietly. _ain’t comin’ back.  
_ Daryl’s words sliced through Rick’s thoughts like a razor edged sword and his heart almost stopped beating. Had he heard correctly? What an idiot he had been, Rick realized. It was odd to be so sure of something one minute, and then to have it all taken away. The breakfast hadn’t been a sign of anything. It was just Daryl pissing on him. He furious despite know he shouldn’t be, after all he knew he was the reason this was happening. 

_You can’t leave,_ he pleaded somberly with the man. He pulled out the only thing he could use and shouldn’t use. _You’re Judith’s godfather goddammit, you just gonna up and leave her? Leave Carl and the others? his voice now almost a whisper. Leave me?_ Daryl blanched at Rick’s statement and frowned, but Rick didn’t regret saying those things. He would never regret anything he did if it meant he could convince Daryl not to go. 

_Ya’ll are safe here. I just wanted you to know that I was leavin’._

In a flash, Rick was on his feet. _Well I guess I can’t fucking stop ya, now can I?_ He asked through gritted teeth. How dare he do this to them? _First sign of things gettin’ rough and you run? I owe you an apology, so why won’t you let me apologize to you? Let this be over!_

Daryl shook his head, letting the man know he didn’t want the apology. He didn’t want anything to do with him or this place anymore. And Rick knew in that moment that he couldn’t stop him. He swallowed deeply, his anger dissipating. 

_Just be safe, don’t do anything…_

_Stupid?_ Daryl interjected, misinterpreting Rick’s statement of genuine concern. The younger man was quick to temper. _Survived longer than most, haven’t I?_ Daryl stared Rick in eyes. 

_If you’re gonna leave us…just please…be safe._ Rick’s voice was full of sadness. 

Daryl let go of the breath he had been holding. He hadn't meant to erupt like that. Everyone had always assumed he was the dumb one growing up and those feelings bled into his self image now. He turned away without saying another word and headed back to the prison. 

It wasn’t long before Carol came running down to the crops. _You have to talk to Daryl! He just told me that he plans on leaving tomorrow._ She looked at Rick who clearly wasn’t surprised by her news. _For good!_ She stated slowly, thinking he was slow on the uptake. Rick shrugged tiredly, and turned back to the plants. _Of course, you already know._ Carol paced back and forth behind Rick. _You have to do something, you have to talk him out of it!_

_You know as good as anyone, that there ain’t no one able to tell Daryl Dixon what to do._ And it was true. It was life altering and bone crushing, and it was true. _Especially me._

_Well,_ Carol stated, not sure Rick was understanding the gravity of the situation. _You have to try!_ Rick dropped his spade to the ground and stood up.

_Don’t you think I know? I’ve been out here all day trying to figure out a solution better than handcuffing him myself to the damn prison! But I can’t get him to stay when I’m the reason that he’s leaving!_ Rick dropped to knees. _Shit._ Carol’s eyes softened, slowly realizing that he was saying. 

_You wanna tell me what happened?_ She asked sitting on the grass, motioning for him to do the same. Rick sat down and leaned back onto his elbows, looking up at the sun. It was warm. It was hot. He wanted it to burn. Rick eyes Carol carefully, as he hadn’t talked to anyone about Daryl before. At least not in the sense of what they were doing. Carol smiled softly without judgement. Turning away from her, he would tell his story to the wind. But he would speak his words loud enough for Carol to hear. 

_Somewhere down the line, he became something more than just my best friend. More than just a brother._ Carol was silent, letting him continue. _We never discussed it. It just was something…more. That’s all._ Carol put a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to go on. _I…I dunno, I was stupid for thinking I could be happy again. After Lori…I didn’t…and now…and Carl…and ugh._ Rick sighed, because didn’t have the right words. They were trapped under his weeping heart. He turned back and looked up at Carol’s wide soulful eyes. _I love him,_ he whispered, not caring who heard his words anymore. Carol reached over and wrapped her arms around their fearless yet broken leader, who was like all men, just a boy in the end. She pulled him against her, and with a mother’s touch told him that everything would be okay in the end. 

_After all,_ she smiled, _if it’s not okay…then it’s not the end.  
_

The two remained in silence for a few minutes longer. 

_Does Daryl know?_ Rick raised an eyebrow. _Does he know that you…love him?_ Rick shook his head. 

_Never got the chance. I messed it all up. I kept somethin’ from him and he didn’t take to it._ Carol nodded, not needing to know the details. 

_You should tell him. I think he deserves to know. If he’s going to go out into that world alone…Well, if it were me…I would want to know._ Carol smiled sadly, and planted a sweet kiss on top of Rick’s forehead. She left him there to think about things. But Rick had been thinking about things for a long time already. He knew now, the time for thinking was done. It was time to act.

**

Dinner came, and Rick joined the group in the mess hall. He sat next to Carl, who was picking at his food. He scanned the room for the archer. He was suddenly aware of Daryl’s eyes on him from across the room. He was sitting next to Glenn and Maggie, and they were in the thick of a conversation. 

_Dad,_ Carl said interrupting his stare. _Is it true? That Daryl’s leaving?_ Rick nodded. He looked at his plate, but he wasn’t hungry. He was sick to his stomach. Carl asked in such a small voice, it broke him all over agin. 

_Of course not,_ he stated firmly, putting his fork down and pushing the plate away. _This is just something that he believes he’s gotta do. Ain’t no one’s fault._ Well it was probably RIck’s doing, but Carl didn’t need to know that. 

_Just think I was wrong, s’all,_ Carl said also pushing his food away. Rick put his arm around the young boy. 

_Wrong ‘bout what?_

_It was better before…when you were happy,_ Carl muttered staring at the table. Rick looked up and caught Daryl’s eyes. Daryl’s brow furrowed as if trying to hear why Carl look so distressed. _I’m sorry dad, I was wrong._ Rick broke Daryl’s stare. 

_Don’t you ever be sorry for feelin’ something. C’mon now, eat your dinner._ He pushed the plate back towards Carl, and also pulled his own. He looked up again and Daryl was still staring at them. He turned back to his conversation with Carl, but for the rest of dinner, he could feel Daryl’s eyes on him. Watching him. 

**

It was late. Rick looked down at his watch, squinting to see what time it was. He hadn’t been able to sleep. The thought of Daryl leaving was enough to keep him awake forever. He decided to go for a walk, stopping by Carl’s cell first. Seeing the young boy fast asleep, calmed him. He headed further down the cell block, and saw Judith in Beth’s cell, also fast asleep. 

Many nights, Judith would fall asleep with Beth or one of the others. Wherever she felt comfortable at the moment, she ended up making her home for the night. Rick knew it was important to socialize her like this, in case…well in case he wasn’t around. He whispered into the room, and planted a very soft kiss on his young daughter’s head. How perfect she was, he thought lovingly. She was the bright hope and future in this bleak and dismal world. He watched her for a minute more, and then silently left. 

Without thinking where he was going, his feet had lead him to the next cellblock. All the way down the hall to the last cell. The one area that was removed away from everyone. Because that’s just the way Daryl liked it. He liked to be with people when he wanted to be and he also craved his solitude. When the solitude of his cell wasn’t enough, he’d leave for a hunt. Rick dared to poke his head into the younger man’s cell, but it was empty. Rick’s heart sunk like a boulder into the pit of his stomach. He was gone. 

_Still mine, til I leave…_ Daryl stated, silently walking up behind Rick, setting down his pack. Rick turned around and smiled slightly. 

_Thought you had left without sayin’ goodbye,_ Rick touched Daryl’s shoulder. _You wouldn’t go an do that, now would you?_ His question was more like a warning, because It was obvious that Daryl was ready to head out. 

_Well I am about ready to be headin’ out. Don’t like none of those sappy goodbyes,_ Daryl said, turning to pick up his pack. Just as he was about to sling it over his shoulder, Rick grabbed it and pulled it to the ground.

_Well then don’t leave, and you won’t have to say goodbye!_ He gritted through his teeth. The two men were removed enough from the others that they could have a conversation, but they couldn’t yell without raising suspicion. 

_Get your damn hands off’a me,_ Daryl growled, his tone making Rick angrier. They stood there just staring at each other. They were two emotionally stunted feral animals, not knowing how to continue. It was Rick who broke the silence. 

_You know I have obligations to my family,_ Rick stated releasing a breath he’d been holding for an eternity. _But I went the wrong way about things and for that I am sorry. I am deeply sorry for the hurt I’ve put on you.  
_ Rick’s hands unconsciously passed over his face in frustration. He looked to Daryl, who’s eyes had softened only a bit. _Somewhere down the line you put a hell of a lot of faith in me. Trust in me. And I know now I broke that._ Rick reached out tentatively, shaking more than he’d like to admit and grabbed ahold of Daryl’s hand. When Daryl didn’t pull back, Rick continued. _I’ve been watchin’ you and I think it’s time for you to forgive me. Because I’ll do anything to make that happen. Gonna find a way. Or gonna goddamn die tryin’._

Rick hadn’t realized that his eyes were clouded with tears, until Daryl reached up with his free hand to wipe them away. The contact of Daryl’s thumb on Rick’s face made his eyes flow more. It was as if he never realized truly how much his touch mattered to the core of his soul. _Shit, m’sorry,_ Rick let go of Daryl’s hand and stepped back, feeling humiliated. Quickly, he rubbed at his eyes pretending his wasn’t crying like a pre-teen girl having a fight with her boyfriend. 

Daryl stepped into Rick’s space. _Hey, it’s gonna b_

_**WALKERS! ******_the voice was distant but distinguishable. It was Glenn. _ **WALKERS IN CELL BLOCK C! ******_They could hear Glenn shouting in the distance, trying to awake everyone.

Daryl grabbed his crossbow with the speed of a panther, and looked at Rick. _C’mon!_

Carl and Judith were in Cell Block C. He quickly pulled his revolver from it’s holster and ran after Daryl who was already halfway there. Rick swallowed deeply, picking up his pace. 

The color drained from Rick’s face when they reached the other cell block. There were walkers everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading! xo


	4. Overrun

_Carl!_ Rick shouted quickly scanning the room. On Rick’s left, Daryl aimed his crossbow and shot a walker. It fell to the floor, only to be trampled by six more. They didn’t have enough bullets for this amount. Rick pulled a knife from his holster and started stabbing his way through the group of undead in front of him. _Carl!_ He shouted again. He kicked a walker in it’s knees and crushed it’s head with his heel as it crumpled to the floor.  
_Up here! Dad!_ Rick’s eyes followed the voice of his son. He was on the second floor, by the stairs. Walkers were already clamoring halfway up the narrow staircase. Carl shot a walker in front of him, but Rick could see more coming in on his left side.  
_Carl! You gotta jump!_ Daryl said, standing underneath the railing, holding his arms out to Rick’s son. _I’ll catch you! Hurry!_ Carl climbed over the railing, and with a breath leapt into Daryl’s strong embrace. Rick pulled out his gun and shot a walker coming up behind Daryl and Carl. There were less of them now, and Rick was able to get to his son. They could hear Glenn’s shouting in the distance.  
_The others-they’re still up there!_  
_Go now! Get to the woods! We’ll meet you there._  
_You sure?_  
Daryl sprayed bullets into the wall of oncoming walkers. A few fell to the concrete floor. Blood splattered. The walkers that still stood flattened those that had fallen. Closer now.  
Rick hugged his young son. _GO!_    
He went.  
Rick stood up, and flanking Daryl’s right side, pulled out his gun-shooting anything that moved.  
_We’ve gotta get upstairs._ Daryl nodded. Rick grabbed an old fire axe mounted on a nearby wall. Daryl had his knife at the ready. They charged the walkers on the stairwell slicing through their decaying flesh. _I can’t get over them. We’ve gotta pull them down here!_ Daryl grabbed a walker by it’s legs, and dragged him off the stairwell. It was painstakingly slow. When the reached the top, it began again. More walkers, in every direction. Glenn fully donned in protective prison guard gear, was shooting the walkers alongside Hershel. _I’ve gotta get to Maggie, she was in the watchtower before it happened!_  
_Go on, I’ve got this!_ Rick swung the axe with great force, taking down two walkers at once. He looked behind him, but couldn’t see Daryl anymore through all the walkers. 

**

Daryl had followed the faint wails of baby Judith down a row of prison cells. _Hey there, lil asskicker,_ he whispered trying to soothe the baby. Daryl quickly scooped her into his arms. _You gotta try and be quiet for me, okay?_ Judith looked up at him with soft but wild eyes, and cried louder. _Alright, or you could do that instead._ Poking his head out from the cell, he saw walkers heading towards their location. He didn’t know if he could safely get them through that many walkers while holding Rick’s daughter. There was nowhere to run. Surrounded by a brick wall, walkers, and a metal railing in front of him, Daryl’s options were limited. _Fuck it._ He zipped Judith into his leather jacket, threw his crossbow down, and swung themselves over the railing. They landed where Daryl had launched them. On a pile of slayed walkers. It was thick enough to cushion their fall and only bruise Daryl, who had purposefully landed on his back in an effort to protect Judith. There wasn’t a second rest, more walkers were coming from the entrance out to the main gates. He sprang up from the pile of walkers grabbed his bow, and ran towards the tombs, hoping they could make it out the other side of the prison. Daryl ducked into one of the cells and grabbed a flashlight. _Alright, here we go. Doin’ good lil asskicker._ He patted her softly on the head and the two disappeared into the dark hallway. 

**

Rick stood in front of Hershel who was out of bullets, and left only with a small knife. Rick was quickly draining the ammo he had, shooting at the walkers around them. No one saw it happen. Rick’s knife was flesh deep into a walker’s skull when Hershel stumbled, his arm catching the fall with a walker’s face. Rick didn’t notice until he had downed all the walker’s before him. 

Rick looked down at the oozing bite mark on Hershel’s forearm. The skin around the bite was bloodied. Same side as his already amputated leg. 

He heaved the old man under his arms and pulled him into the corner of the room. This was it. Rick’s vision focused. Before he knew what he was doing, he’d ripped the shirt sleeve from Hershel’s shoulder and tied it above the wound. Blood discolored the fabric instantly.  
_You’re going to be fine,_ Rick said trembling, and Hershel stared up at him with wide eyes. _You’re going to be just fine._ Hershel tried to shake his head, but Rick avoided his gaze.

Glenn stuck his head around the corner of the main entrance. _We’ve got to get going!_ he shouted. Then he saw Hershel, and ran up the stairs. _Shit, what happened?_  
_Hold him down!_ Rick commanded. _You’re going to be alright,_ he repeated. _Cover his mouth,_ he directed Glenn, and he slammed the axe down on Hershel’s arm. Glenn muffled the scream as best he could.  
_Behind you!_ Glenn yelled, releasing Hershel and reaching for his gun. Rick, still crouched, swung the bloodied axe around and stuck a stray walker in the knees, slicing them clean off. The walker fell forward, onto Hershel. Immediately, Rick grabbed the walker’s rotting shoulders and pulled it off. With a clean shot to the walker’s head, Glenn fired his gun.  
_We’ve got to git him out of here!_ Rick looked down at Hershel who was covered in more blood than before. _Oh, no._ Blood spurt from Hershel’s neck, where the fallen walker had taken it’s final bite. Hershel silently pleaded with Rick. Rick leaned down and closed Hershel’s eyes. _May you find peace, and be reunited with the loved ones you’ve lost._ He pulled the trigger without hesitating. 

Glenn grabbed Rick by the arm and pulled him away from their friend. _We’ve got to go! Carl’s outside with Maggie._ Rick shook his head and ran to the other corridor to search for Judith and Daryl. Glenn followed him pleading with the sheriff to leave. _Judith was with Beth, where’s Beth?_ When Glenn didn’t answer, he stopped in his tracks. _Where’s Beth?_ Again, Glenn shook his head, noticing walkers coming in downstairs. _You sayin’ she’s dead, or you don’t know? Answer me!_  
_She’s outside with Maggie!_ Glenn grabbed Rick again, and directed him downstairs and through the main exit. Rick seeing nothing but red, easily slaughtered the walkers in their path. 

 

They met Carl at the entrance of the prison gate. On the main road, things had gone to hell. There were walkers everywhere. A separate horde entirely, but riled up by the noise coming from the prison. Maggie was standing protectively over a crying Beth. _Daddy?_ she asked, searching Glenn’s face. The young man just hugged her as she broke down into tears. Rick ran over to Beth and dropped to his knees. He looked into her tearful eyes. _Judith?_ She shook her head and buried her head in her hands. _I woke up before it happened and went to see Maggie in the watchtower._ Rick fell back onto the gravel, and sobbed loudly. The walkers were getting closer, barely a stone’s through away. Carl took aim at a nearby walker and shot cleanly through its forehead. The thing fell, revealing a dozen more walkers behind it.  
_Run for it!_  
_Shoot them!_  
_I’m out! Run!_  
Carl grabbed his father, urging him to run. He didn’t have time to argue. They were coming. Rick ran. They ran deep into the woods. They ran until they couldn’t run any further. They ran until the breath in their lungs came heavy.  
Beth swiped at the tear trailing down her cheek.  
_I don’t think I can keep going,_ she said.  
_We’ll stop here for the night and make camp,_ Glenn said. The tired group sank to the earth, defeated. No one had seen Daryl or Carol. Beth had unknowingly left Judith for death and Hershel was gone. The group sat in a silent circle, not knowing what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for reading! xo


End file.
